10. Quick somebody call my phone I may have flushed it.

9. I’ve got the hat and if you don’t let me do my Hendrix solo, I’ll blow chunks into it.

8. Be out in a minute, I know I SHOULD be driving but I put it on cruise control, it will be arrright.

7. Toss me the Sunday paper, someone forgot to go to Costco again.

6. Spock this is Bones, beam me up.

5. Accordion music.

4. Take it easy on the brakes! I’m trying to shave my head.

3. Who wants some of this potato wine? I learned to make it in prison.

2. Can you hear me now?

1. Dudes, we really need an office. I’m having a hard time silk screening these t-shirts.

10.Fill out job applications.

9. Wonder how Jerry Lewis got so fat.

8. Last BBQ before going back to school and or prison.

7. Use sharpies to draw in new eyebrows after lighting new BBQ.

6. No Cerveza, No Trabajo.

5. Raider Nation tailgaters practice slapping each other for no apparent reason.

4. Go into labor, as result of a major New Years celebration.

3. Retro Cool soul music fans get regular medical check up’s and finds that they are shot to the curb because of the 70tys.

2. Invent new campaign slogans like, “Vote for Obama or I’ll slap your Mama”.

1. Taxed to the max parents spend major G’s on back to school clothes.

10. They agree with the Bible which says Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

9. None of the band members are gay or can even put a matching outfit together.

8. In Oakland when Homies get out of the penitentiary they usually go back to girls.

7. Someone would have to quit and get a straight job so they can have medical benefits.

6. They would accidentally murder their pets by being on the road so long.

5. If one got fired from the band, the other would mess up songs on purpose.

4. If they look uncomfortable dancing side by side could you imagine face to face?

3. They would rather find someone with money.

2. Don’t want to be honor bound to donate vital organs.

1. Being on the road with ten dudes is worse than being married.

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10. Go to Pikes market and squeeze local melons.

9. Take the underground tour to see if they can find deadbeat Dad musician friends from Texas.

8. Explain to bus boys its “Mingo”, not “Gringo” Fishtrap.

7. Go to the world’s first Starbucks and thank them for keeping them touring all these years.

6. Explain to the former rock players that the Needle is not literally from Space.

5. Try not to wear pointy cowboy boots while walking down steep hills.

4. Go to Seahawk Games in Dallas Cowboys gear and start fights.

3. Visit Woodland park zoo, and trap fish.

2. Visit Dr, Funk for yearly alcohol performance tolerance aptitude tests.

1. Stop by Oakland on the way over from Austin to pick up some Everett and Jones BBQ.