10. Get free tax advise and math home work help.

 

9. Walk around with a huge kool aid cup filling it with everyone else’s white wine.

 

8. Pretend to be a valet parker and take Volvos joyriding.

 

7. Mean mug, loafer wearing college professors, causing their significant others to weep.

 

6. Take up a ‘save the gay whales’ collection then buy a keg of malt liquor.

 

5. Offer cute English lit major coeds ride on your American Chopper.

 

4. Take huge bites out of Accountants tofu picnic sandwiches.

 

3. Petition the court saying that, mandatory attendance as a condition of an Anger Management program, is cruel and usual punishment for a true funkateer.

 

2. Wear a cheap mop on your head and tell everybody you are Kenny G.

 

1. Do the Doc Kupka  dance during meaningful solos, next to the stage.