10. Your coffee cup always smells like Kahlua and has a reed in it.
9. Your screen saver is a picture of Mingo and you are not gay.
8. You are a Babe; you have a screen saver picture of Strokeland all stars.
7. Wear sunglasses all day, even if you work at home or the night shift.
6. Your cell phone ring tone is the trumpet intro to SAYM.
5. Everybody in the building is afraid of you.
4. The horn on your Corolla sounds like a Selmer with a low A.
3. Spend break times in the restroom using a toilet plunger as a fake trombone.
2. Written up for an alleged pimp slap incident with a Celine Dion fan.
1. Paid the IT guy to hard wire www.horndrivenradio.com into all desk tops.